Don’t worry, I got you. You have your first dog and you feel like you made a mistake? I hear you. I really do! You made your research on which dog breed is best for you, you talked with your family and friends, you studied about the breed and how to do everything right.
And still, you feel deflated, tired, confused and wonder was just a big mistake. Your dog isn’t anything you expected. You are maybe thinking can you take your dog back and if so, what would everyone think?
There’s nothing wrong with you if you have these thoughts!
Don’t think for a second that you are a bad dog parent or that you don’t have what it takes. You are smart and you did your best before your dog arrived in your family. Trust me, I’ve been there. I thought about all of these things. More than with one dog.
I really thought I picked “the wrong dog” or there’s something wrong with me or my dog.
First-time dog owner anxiety is a normal part of the process of growing to be a dog parent. The new dog owner doesn’t have the experience of everyday routines and the knowledge of the ups and downs yet.
First-time dog owners will learn these things and can cope with dog owner anxiety by studying what is expected when owning a dog for the first time.
Every dog is different like we are. Every home is different. There are some dog breed traits that can help when choosing the right dog. But your dog can be a complete copy of that breed or something else.
Dogs have their own personality as well but training plays a HUGE part. You haven’t seen the results of what training can do yet. That’s one of the reasons why you feel so anxious and tired.
First-time dog owners usually study everything they can to be ready. And that’s great! We know though that you can’t be truly ready for something you need to experience.
Owning a dog is not like going to do a written exam about dog owning. Oh, if only it could be that simple!
What should a first-time dog owner expect
You might be frustrated because your dog is a little monster now: barking at everything, nipping, jumping, keeping you awake at night, leash pulling, and peeing all over the place even if you just went out.
Yeah. That’s normal.
Here’s the deal.
Think of your dog as a little piece of clay. Just humor me, I have a point coming. You know, one of those colorful clays we used to play with when we were kids. Yeah? Now, you have a lump of clay in front of you and don’t know what to do with it.
It should look like a dog but it doesn’t. Not at all.
You’ve read everything about clay molding but now when it’s in front of you, you’re confused.
Time only moves forward and you will learn how to mold that cute peace of clay. One day at a time. That clay doesn’t know what to do to become a dog.
You need to make everything happen.
You need to get busy and learn how to mold that clay to become a dog. In time that clay will start to look like a dog and you will be so proud of yourself!
You will find the power and the support to stick with it even when you don’t feel like it. You will learn, you will fail and then you will try again and succeed. Some days will be just about surviving and others will be so much better. You WILL see results when you keep going. I know you will.
Like building a muscle. One day at a time.
8 pointers to every first-time dog owner with anxiety
For easing your anxiety, it’s good to know what you can do and what things are good to know and process. It’s all going to work out when you make sure your dog has everything to be healthy and content with you.
With time you will have a confident and well-behaved doggo!
#1
From now on you will always be a little worried about how your doggo is doing. Just about every day. Welcome to the club of “ I’m worried, is this normal for my dog to…”
#2
Your dog can be a complete copy of that breed you studied or something else. Dogs have their own little personalities and quirks as well. It takes time to get to know your dog. At the same time your dog is getting to know you.
#3
Training plays a huge role. With time you will see how much positive training and consistency can mold your dog.
#4
Get to know your dog like you would a new friend. There are things your dog will love, dislike or be okay with. You can start by learning together what kind of toys your dog likes to play with. Playing with your dog deepens the bond between you both.
#5
Your dog will not like every dog that they meet. Just like you don’t really like everyone. They should tolerate different dogs but it’s okay if the meet-up doesn’t excite your dog. When you get to know your dog you will see what kind of play-dates would be nice to have in the future.
#6
Things will not always go as you planned. It’s important to sometimes try and go with the flow. You and your dog will learn as you go.
#7
Keep your veterinarian’s phone number on speed dial. Always ask your vet’s opinion on your dog’s health issues. Depending on where you live and the vet’s office, there might be package deals for dogs: you pay for a specific amount that covers the whole year of vaccinations and consultations. Ask your vet if they have something to recommend.
#8
If your dog is an older rescue dog, it can take around 3 months for your dog to adjust to the new environment. You should be ready to double that time depending on your dog’s history and age. Take things slow no matter what the age. It’s a new situation for you and your dog.
Can dogs get anxiety from their owners?
Your dog will read your emotions very well. If you are stressed, nervous, anxious or unsure it can make some situations worse around your dog.
They’re definitely better at understanding us than we are at understanding them.
Lina Roth, a zoologist at Sweden’s Linkoping University
Lets say your dog is looking at you for guidance for specific situations and you don’t know how to guide your dog. When you feel nervous about it, your dog might think “My pack leader is nervous so I should be too. I’m gonna bark and lash out at this thing/ person/ situation just in case.”
According to National Geography, a new study shows that our relationship with our dogs runs both ways: if we experience long-term stress and anxiety we can pass it on to our doggos.
If you’re chronically stressed, your dog could be too.
National geography
The new finding doesn’t suggest anxious people shouldn’t adopt dogs – far from it! Dogs are great stress relievers. Just being around dogs can make people relax and that’s why therapy dogs are used around the world.
When you are trying to understand what’s going on in your dog’s mind, be aware how you are feeling and acting around your dog.
In severe cases, your dog might develop separation anxiety. This happens when your dog is super-attached to you and your dog’s world seems to collapse when you leave. It’s a serious condition that goes beyond a little whining when you go.
You need to be ready to train yourself and your dog to do things differently. It’s possible to get over this serious condition with consistency and have a confident dog!
Dogs are wonderfully adaptable with positive training and time.